Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Coalition of the Stingy

Captain Ed passes along a breakdown of what other, supposedly "non-stingy" nations have contributed.

Australia: $26M, plus five military transports and 50 specialists
Austria: $1.36M
Belgium: One military transport to deliver UNICEF aid
Britain: 370K (pounds), $100K, plus $481K of materials to Sri Lanka
Denmark: 45 tonnes of supplies, $1.82M
EU: "Ready to release" 30M Euro, 3M Euro already released.
France: 100K Euros ($140,000)
Finland: 500K Euro.
Germany: 2M Euro.
Greece: 17 doctors and staff.
Italy: 2 helicopters and crew.
Netherlands: 2M Euros.
Poland: $336K
Spain: 1M Euros pledged, 19 volunteers
Sweden: Two communications specialists and some tents and radios.

The good Captain notes: "Norway, Egeland's home country, is conspicuously absent from this list, and France might as well be."

I know how we can raise some money. There's a nice piece of real estate in lower Manhattan that should fetch a hefty price. All we need to do is evict the deadbeats that are squatting there.

More: Heh. Jib nails it, here.

After receiving criticism from the United Nations, aid organizations, and for not sending enough aid money to Tsunami ravaged areas of Asia, the Bush administration today agreed to further balloon the US deficit by providing a $35 billion aid package to the Asian nations.

"We have have heard the cries, and we realize that we were blatantly wrong in not promising scads of unsecured funding to Asia to cover all the costs of the tsunami," said Bush Press Secretary Scott Mclellan. "We are confident that throwing all of this money around will make the world love us. After all, that is the goal of the United States-to be the most popular nation in the global lunch room."

. . .

[Kofi] Annan went on to praise the other nations of the world, as well as to announce UN plans for the tsunami ravaged region.

"I can't say enough for the generosity of the remaining nations of the world. We passed a hat around the UN offices and came up with 37 Euros. I'd like to remind stingy Americans that 37 Euros comes up to about 43 of your dollars. France alone scraped up 6 Euros. Norway, one of our most generous aid givers, agreed to raise taxes in 2005 to come up with their 8 Euro donation. China even offered to dispatch one of their armies to the region to help restore order under the Chinese flag. As for the UN, we will be organizing a US Aid for Food program, which will be headed by my son. I'm also looking at buying a new yacht sometime after we get the program set up."


More: Hrairoo at Silflay Hraka has an interesting plan, too.

We write the checks and just get pissed on anyway. Let's try it for a year without writing the checks. We'll be 24 billion dollars richer at the end of the road.

Let's try it all for a year. Next December, we'll solicit opinions from the rest of the world regarding which United States they like better.


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