. . . and monkeys might fly out my butt.

A group calling itself the Coalition Against Election Fraud is holding a vigil outside John Kerry's house this week.

[T]he group believes the election was fixed and wants to persuade the Massachusetts senator to oppose congressional approval of the electoral college results Jan. 6. That would set in motion the process of questioning George W. Bush's victory in November. Such a challenge has never been successful, and nobody in Washington expects one now.

. . .

In a statement, a Kerry spokesman praised the tenacity of the group camped out on his doorstep yesterday.

''You meet a lot of inspirational people who took this campaign into their hearts," spokesman David Wade said. ''They keep their bumper stickers on their cars because they're proud of the fight they fought. John Kerry's campaign touched a chord with millions of Americans, and so many people want the fight to continue. . . . The campaign's ended, but the values we share are worth fighting for."

Apparently those values include the inability to face reality.

The Coalition Against Election Fraud actually has a blog! Their website carries the following statement:

On January 6th, Congress meets to certify the Presidential election. If even one House member and one Senator object to the electoral votes of any state, this objection will be recorded: the vote will not be automatically approved. This has happened only once before -- in 1877. Its occurrence once again would draw historic attention to our shattered democracy and lead to an outcome that none of us can know.

In 2000, no Senator would join the Representatives from the Congressional Black Caucus to challenge the electoral vote. Therefore, in 2004, we are asking you to contact as many as you can of the key Senators, listed below, as well as your own Senators, if you think you can reach them on this issue. Tell them not to certify the election on January 6, 2005.

Contact these Senators at 1-800-839-5276 or 1-877-762-8762 connecting all offices.

• Barbara Boxer CA-D
• Robert Byrd WV-D
• Mark Dayton MN-D
• Thomas Harkin IA-D
• Jim Jeffords VT-I
• Edward Kennedy MA-D
• Patrick Leahy VT-D
• Carl Levin MI-D
• Joseph Lieberman CT-D
• Barbara Mikulski MD-D
• Barack Obama IL-D
• Olympia Snowe ME-R
• Charles Schumer NY-D

Interesting choice of senators they want you to contact. Why not all Democratic senators? They must know that most of them won't go along with this kind of nuttiness. But Ted Kennedy? Mark Dayton? Robert Byrd? Barbara Boxer? Surely these folks will sign aboard with the plan.

''Who knows? Maybe we'll overturn the election," said Sheila Parks, a vigil organizer.

. . . and monkeys might fly out my butt.