Giant Sucking Sound . . . please!

What I wouldn't give right now for one of Ross Perot's patented "Giant Sucking Sounds." We have a clogged drain in the shower. Three bottles of drain opener later, and there's very little downward momentum. And I don't even want to know what all that crud is that keeps floating up out of the darkness below.

UPDATE: A lot of plunging and one huge bottle of drain opener, and now everything's going the direction it's supposed to go. But it was a close call. At times like this we realize that civilization balances on the edge of a precipice, and it doesn't take much to send our well-ordered lives down into the chasm of chaos. Praise Drano. Civilization is now restored, and we can use the shower again.